The only reason we do anything is because there’s a reward at the end of it.
We work. We get rewarded with a pay cheque. We work even harder, maybe we’re rewarded with a bigger pay cheque.
We use social media. We get rewarded with entertainment or an ego-stroking feeling of importance when we hit 100 likes.
We gamble. We get rewarded with winnings or a rush of adrenaline while we’re wrapped in the thrill of the action.
We drink. We get rewarded with a feeling of relaxation as we ‘switch off’ from the stresses around us.
We eat sugary snacks. We get rewarded with a nice taste and an energy release, perhaps a content feeling of comfort.
But if we work, swipe, bet, drink or eat too much and too often, over time we’ll find there are consequences. Consequences to your mental and physical health. Consequences for your family life. Consequences to your wealth.
So why do you need those rewards in the first place?
Perhaps it’s a response to feeling depressed. Maybe it’s a response to feeling anxious. Both symptoms of looking back and forward respectively.
Maybe it’s just relieving the boredom.
Either way, it’s all an act of removing yourself from the current reality you’re in. Of avoiding feeling what you’re feeling.
They’re all exercises that fundamentally remove you from the ‘moment’ you’re living in at a given time.
And if the moment, right now, is all there is, if that is life, then you’re removing yourself from the one thing that’s the most precious thing on earth, and the only thing you have.
Life comes with ups and downs, peaks and troughs, yins and yangs, pizzas and French fries.
If we zig when our emotions zag, we’ll always be grasping clutches as a temporary measure to help us walk through a situation.
Rather than use clutches, we’re better off trying to walk on our own two feet. Learning to deal and live with the downs and embrace the troughs, no matter how hard that is.
“If you pizza when you should french fry, you’re going to have a bad time.” (South Park)
I’m not saying it’s easy. It requires real physical and mental discipline. And I’m not saying I’m able to do this either. It’s all a work in progress. Progress being the important word there.
Regardless of where you are, doing work to make personal progress is all you can do. Do that often enough and things will change. You’ll discover new rewards that hopefully don’t have as many negative consequences.