Jocko Willink has a great book: Extreme Ownership. Jocko is an ex-marine and has a very stern view on responsibility.
Essentially, his perspective is that, in every situation, regardless of the outcome, you could have and should have done more. Never is there a case where you can point the finger at someone else and say “that’s your fault”. In all situations, you could have acted differently either before or during the the event in question.
Just think of a time where something hasn’t gone your way. Someone’s let you down. You made a mistake. Think now of whether there’s absolutely anything you could have done that would have changed the outcome. I bet there is.
I was reminded of this the other day when Gemma returned to work from maternity leave. Upon arriving back to work, within the first two weeks, she realised that there’d been a mistake made with one of the doctors.
One doctor in question has reduced their hours down from 2 days per week to 1 day per week, halving their salary. Yet, on the payroll system, the doctor was still being paid for 2 day’s work. The manager covering Gemma for the maternity cover hadn’t updated the system. As such, the doctor was paid double for 5 months.
When confronted, the manager didn’t have an answer as to why and how this had happened. Instead of owning the mistake, they claimed that they sat down with their manager to do it and so the blame should rest with them.
This failure to own the mistake and consider how you might have prevented it means that this opportunity to grow is lost. Instead of mentally digesting it, and going through the process required to process it, this guy fired through the mental shortcuts he’s always used to keep pride intact.
Responsibility and ownership are not about keeping hold of outside pride. They’re about digging deep, introspection and standing up and being counted. It’s about developing confidence, being reliable and facing uncomfortable truths. Only there will you develop into a solid, dependable person.
Otherwise, you’re a wet blanket.